America’s Pastime (Past Time? Past-Time?)

Hitler Goes Oppo

Going to see the Mets today at Citifield with my elderly baseball-loving (baseball loving? baseballloving?) parents. We are all fans of this great game (greatgame? great-game?). My great-grandfather (gg? g g?) threw a near no-hitter at the Buchenwald Baseball Center. Rumor has it that the F├╝hrer himself, sporting number eins on his uniform, went “oppo” and hit a soft liner over second to break it up. He was likely motivated by the chin music he heard at the previous at bat. Little known fact – a very dense matzoh ball and a baseball share a remarkable number of physical properties. I will likely eat food today that will cause me to miss an inning or two. Which reminds me why I spend more on toilet paper than I do on food.

For those at the game – no comments on my hat unless earnestly positive. It is of the Fedora species and was purchased in haste on the streets of Venice after a wicked head-based sunburn. 10 euros which could be $1000, don’t know.  Did not negotiate due to fear and my overtly Jewish features that would feed the stereotype. Keeping receipt.

Author: plutvak

Finally putting those thoughts down that had people scrunching their faces or quietly sneaking away but nonetheless made me laugh. So scrunch, sneak, laugh, enjoy.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: