Mr. Met was glaringly absent from yesterday’s Mets afternoon folly vs. the Braves at Citifield in the Queens, N.Y. Upon further research, it was discovered that he was home recovering from a ritual circumcision that was performed as part of his conversion to Judaism. He will soon participate in the ritual bath ceremony (Mikveh) at an undisclosed location. As this ritual is performed without any clothing on and involves submerging oneself into a pool of water, he is quite concerned about any burning or irritation he may experience at the site of his most recent procedure of which he describes as completely unrecognizable. Calls for comment for this article from Mr. Met’s mohel have gone unanswered.
To honor this occasion, the Mets organization will have each player uniform affixed with the commemorative patch as shown below.