Mentropy

Is it Cracker Jack or Cracker Jacks? Sonofabitch or son of a bitch? I want the Pittsburgh Pirates to play the Somali Pirates. I am deeply ashamed of my inability to use chopsticks effectively. “Can I please have a fork? I am sorry as well.”  Despite the fact that treatises have been written about the spork, I still feel like I have something to offer on the subject. Growing up, I wanted to be the first Jewish matador. People have referred to me as granular. I refuse to look that up. I spent more than seven hours in a row working on financial spreadsheets when I got up today. Just coffee, no solid food. I think that makes me granular. My rabbi told me I am permanently ritually impure. I’m still hopeful. I recently came out as bald to my family. They said they had suspected for some time. Why did I wait so long? I want to spearhead a scalding water challenge for burn victims. I like raising a stink which leads me to believe that farts are lighter than air. What follows is this – if there is a hole in the ozone layer, does outer space smell like shit? Where’s Neil?

Author: plutvak

Finally putting those thoughts down that had people scrunching their faces or quietly sneaking away but nonetheless made me laugh. So scrunch, sneak, laugh, enjoy. View all posts by plutvak