Unsafe Playing Condition Plagues M.L.B.

Performance-enhancers, slow game-play, high ticket prices, trough-like urination basins, replay delays, juiced balls – hardly a complete list of complaints oft-lodged at M.L.B. and America’s Pastime. Yet flying below the radar gun, until now, is the issue of unpadded electrical boxes scattered around the periphery of baseball stadia. Dustin Fowler, the Yankee rookie, in his first major league game, “collided” with said box, resulting in a season-ending patellar-tendon knee injury. This is just another example of “egregiously” unsafe playing conditions that members are subjected to said a representative from the M.L.B.P.A. (you can look it up). There was also overarching concern if he had used the term “egregiously” correctly. An investigation lead by the T.S.A. (Fowler was technically airborne just as his tendon was mid-rupture) is one of many conducted over the last several major league seasons. An anonymous source says that T.S.A. resources are stretched “so thin” now that an injunction is being sought to force the M.L.B to pad these junction boxes immediately.  M.L.B. officials have refused to comment for this article but five dogs outside of the M.L.B. offices in midtown urinated profusely in disgust.

Dogs protesting outside of M.L.B. headquarters in New York City

Author: plutvak

Finally putting those thoughts down that had people scrunching their faces or quietly sneaking away but nonetheless made me laugh. So scrunch, sneak, laugh, enjoy.

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