Disgraced former congressman and contributor to Hillary Clinton’s doomed Presidential bid, Anthony Weiner quietly masturbated himself in a Manhattan courtroom this week. Witnesses included Human Abedin, his soon-to-be ex-wife, as well as the judge hearing their divorce case. Earlier in the week, lawyers for Weiner wrote to the judge hearing his sexting case that they are seeking probation for their client. His legal team also represents Louis C.K., who is under suspicion for sexual misconduct. Known in the business as an inappropriate serial masturbator, C.K. is under fire from the likes of Tig Notaro and Roseanne Barr for not addressing the rumors swirling around his genitalia. When pressed for comment after the meeting, Weiner referred to the progress he has made in rehab. Sentencing is set for September 25th.