With reports swirling in the both the entertainment and canine worlds of Barbra Streisand’s recent dog cloning escapades, it was revealed that Babs had inadvertently sent her own DNA to the cloning laboratory. When the brown-garbed UPS delivery-person appeared at her Malibu estate with an oversized shipping crate, shock ensued when upon opening the package, an exact replica of Ms. Streisand appeared, albeit in Yentl garb and belting out “The Way We Were.” The “original” dumbstruck Streisand was said to have been muttering incoherently, “that’s not my nose, “before passing out. Her husband, the actor and former Marcus Welby acolyte, James Brolin, was last seen fleeing the scene by motorcycle screaming antisemitic remarks.
Known for typically strict attention to detail, a group of Orthodox Jewish nebbishes from Borough Park, Brooklyn misread the directions from one of their Holy Books resulting in a cloning mishap. Originally intended to clone one local Rabbi (Rebbe Shmuel Schmuckler), who had a lifelong desire to visit Freeport, Maine and its flagship L.L. Bean superstore, the experiment got stuck in an infinite loop that even puzzled the Almighty. No comment from up above. As a result of the error, thousands of Rabbi Schmucklers are now clogging the streets of Brooklyn’s Jewish sector in need of settlement. Talks with Israeli government officials are ongoing as large swathes of territory in the Jewish homeland have become increasingly available.