“Send Mallomars,” Irma Survivors Plead

Grappling with the destruction and devastation that Hurricane Irma left in its wake, Floridians in the Keys of the state are shunning the traditional post-storm donations and are asking for Mallomars, Nabisco’s S’mores-oid cookie product. At nearly 100 years of ageism, the Mallomar has not only stood the test of time but has been put to many industrial as well as gastronomic uses. ┬áThe mainstay of road-repair for decades, the “Mar, as it is known colloquially, has been touted as well for its off-the-charts buoyancy properties making it ideal for uses in raising sunken ships and in structural constructional work-related workings. With food supplies scarce and months of rebuilding ahead, the ‘Mar is the ideal product for such dire circumstances. As supplies are being readied for shipment to the southern portions of the country, the once-idyllic Caribbean Islands, which experienced there own Irma-related damage, sadly mis-requested Oreos.

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Fairway on Manhattan’s Upper West Side neighborhood prepared a shipment of ‘Mars to the Florida Keys neighborhood